I now have both versions of APT #2W in three things I published. Withersin is the reason I am known as a nonfiction writer of dark creative nonfiction. Magazines I submit to often published my nonfiction first then they go for my fiction. I wanted to submit my fiction to Misty but I never managed to hit their world limit, I always went 1000 words over. That is the same problem I have about wanting to submit to Morpheus Tales — I sent the 2100 word version of APT. #2W to Misty, she liked it and asked me if I can expand it. I expanded it to 2600 words from a local community college computer and sent it back. I heard nothing back for a year, so I was left in limbo. So I did More Frightening Than Fiction and included the short version of the nonfiction story. APT. #2W is a nonfiction story that has the vibe of my supernatural horror stories it was the first nonfiction story that had the dark Gothic horror voice. The Pattern Of Diagnosis was the second to have this — the second one is a fan favorite.
They not only published me in the issue, but in following issues they featured alumni from my magazine. It was January some time after New Years in 2008 I found the Birth Issue at Barbara’s Book Store in Oak Park, Illinois. I was showing people left and right the story as it appears as my name I used in the Navy — N.A. Pacione. I haven’t went by that name since 1994. It was printed in the papyrus font with spaces in the paragraphs. When Misty made the issue available on the web as a pdf it was hard to read because of the print fonts didn’t work well with the pdf. It was a few years since the issue was published so the rights were reverted back to me, I thought I would reissue the story — expanding it one more time to mention the previous hauntings I investigated at South Barrington and Bachelor’s Grove.
Misty saw something in me — I showed her Blood Contender when it was just finished and she told me that I introduced something epic in a short story that could be made into a novel out of it. I wrote Blood Contender from my family’s house in the Joliet area, as I did when I wrote the story that got me placed in Withersin. I knew my fictional voice was akin to H.P. Lovecraft and Richard Matheson, but my voice as a writer of dark literature really showed as a nonfiction writer. I reintroduced the self-portrait I took on the leather sofa at the old apartment in Justice, living there I started to see my work get sold to publishers and magazines in 2004-2007 to token paying markets and in 4theluv anthologies. When I got published with G.W. Thomas, I was just getting ready to have a street date with Donna Burgess — I saw the galleys for the novella and felt that there was something missing. When Donna joined Lulu.com in 2006, I introduced her to the software I was using for the third incarnation of Tabloid Purposes that being Open Office — I am the only publisher who took multiple formats for manuscripts because I had all the word processors. When I became part of Naked Snake Press I Was operating from two computers. I called my apartment at the time Lake Fossil Press North HQ. I finished the anthology from the relatives computer in the Joliet area, when I finished the layouts for House of Spiders 3 the room mate’s computer was about to crash so I burnt the novella onto CD-R. I did the same with APT. #2W.
The one thing I will remember about being a fixture in the micro-press community is I became noticed in print first for writing nonfiction. Readers took me seriously as an author because of a true crime piece I wrote about a former classmate who murdered a cab driver. I got nonfiction following in 2002 from posting the story first on ThoughtCafe.co.uk when they were still around — that is where I first met J.M. Heluk. AT the time I got in touch with J.M. Heluk I had no idea that J.M. was a she. When I saw a picture of her on myspace, she had the looks of a movie star. She replaced Macey in the following Tabloid Purposes (she was slated to submit to the first one) — Macey parted company after Quakes and Storms. I got respected in the industry as a nonfiction author then they started to seek out my fiction for publication. So what I am doing right now is trying to pitch a query for a dark nonfiction story for the magazine — one e-zine made the mistake of calling a nonfiction story I wrote a fictional story that reads as nonfiction one when it was a work of nonfiction. What makes my entry in Withersin unique to stories of true paranormal accounts is that it was told from a Pentecostal’s perspective. IF you are looking for the story you, the reader can buy it on Lulu.com. Sign up with lulu.com for a free membership to buy the publication. It was the most eye opening and changed the direction of the magazine to a darker direction, and a much more real direction too.
Misty did what Barbara Maleny tried to do in 2005, Barbara Malenky would been at home in the pages of Withersin if she was alive. Being in Withersin was a surreal and rewarding experience. It broke me out as a nonfiction writer. Barbara believed I could had walked away with a Brammy for longer fiction and best anthology in 2005 but there was a lot of politics and a fucking popularity contest. It is not about legitimate talent, it was goddamned circle jerk.
A lot of writers from AuthorsDen.com in 2002 knew I was good. By the time I reached HorrorMasters.com, The Temple of Dagon and The House of Pain, they said I was that damn good. Brian Keene hates when I mention my Withersin Birth Issue credit because it reminds him that I am publishable. That pisses him off because everything he said about me not being able to write blew up in his face by my appearance in Withersin. I am looking to top that publication credit as a fiction writer since I am out there as a nonfiction writer. I have fans from my nonfictional efforts, just that the detractors will try and go out of their way to give me the wrong audience for my catalog. I am still trying to find a reviewer of the memoir that would give the book proper justice. In the magazine’s 10th Issue I reprinted a story written by a mystery author who was originally published in my magazine’s influence called Plots Magazine, a horror magazine that published horror without sex, graphic violence or even swearing. I wanted the author to come forward because I kept the story in circulation long after the Kewanee, Illinois, based magazine fold. One of my readers sent me the magazine after reading a short story of mine on a horror egroup. I thanked Misty by having her as a guest cameo in GAME OVER with a fictional story called “Impaled Beauty Queen” because the fictional magazine helmed by the metal head characters was based on the nastiest issues of our respective publications.
The asshole publishers who called my body of work fan fiction had the nerve to insult Misty for publishing and some of their blogger friends harassed her into dropping me. A troll by the name of Peter Barns was upset I was being published, he bullied the magazines into dropping my submission. Sadly G.W. Thomas folded the magazine after the issue I appeared in with two of my anthology contributors — one being the magazine’s breakout start because he was able to illustrate his own work. Alex Rivera was my first triple threat talent to emerge out of the magazine. I never got anyone who was able to illustrate their own work. I illustrated the lulu.com edition of my first book and included a controversial illustration I did when I was still in college as the TOC page of the memoir. When I first did the KKK hanging from at tree, I was scanning up pictures with a college buddy who had a Mancow Fan Site called Mancowland. I am just starting to get back in touch with the readers from my gothic chatroom years. When I get accepted on anthologies or a magazine, Brian Keene goes on a warpath — he acts like the fuckers on Fandom Wank.com and all the people commenting on his blog lifting one of my titles blasting me don’t wamt my company to succeed. I lasted one year shy of ten years and writing guidelines up for the next few anthologies and taking on a helper with FANDOM, but told the helper to read up on the dark side of fandom scout the horror fandoms on fanfiction.net and invite them to submit to the anthology. I made it a mission of the company to redefine what fan fiction is — I am fan writing original horror, but sometimes get unique idea that will go up on fan ficion.net.
I will use the model delivery from The Twilight Zone fandom with me playing Rod Serling’s role to swipe at rivals. I might use fan fiction net to get under Brian Keene’s skin by lifting his pen name as a character and he goes mad from stealing my settings and world worlds to make them perverse. I figured I could use the fanfiction.net site to get under his skin a little bit while I work on stories for submissions to other magazines and for another website I saw some prick do a shit story lifting from my memoir.
He has a reputation of picking fights with small press publishers in the business because they choose to release their own horror books themselves. I read his recent blog entires — the white trash scumbag is lifting my first science fiction story for his sick amusement and he wants to rape Sprectal Exile. It is bad enough that the faggots from SomethingAwful.com violated the characters for their amusement then pirated my memoir. He often insults one of my contributors for ushering me into being a published author. I am thinking about writing a novel swiping at him and submitting it to one of his publishers to blackball the cyber-bullying bastard.
You want to know my story with Brian Keene, please by all means read An Eye In Shadows because that documents his bullying of me on message boards. He claims I harassed him for ten years. The infant raper fucked with my social life on his blog and edits my comments to make me look like a goddamned faggot fan fiction writer. He is still pissed that I was carried on Shocklines in 2006. My publication credit in Withersin: Birth Issue is the thing that shuts him up because I get published more for nonfiction than I do with fiction, but the same magazine will ask to read my own horror fiction.
Misty noted that I also have the bad boy behavior but Alex Rivera stated I take it to another level. I am the bad boy of the publishing world, willing to urinate on an editor’s photograph ending his editing career. Exposing them as hypocrites when it comes to self-publishing because they took a ripe shit on my avenue to get my first book published. I still self-release titles because I want what other publishers don’t give you and that is full creative control. I wanted a place where I can also showcase my talents as a photographer. When it comes to Brian Keene I have this to say to him, “Go rape your mother.”
I think I will have some fun with him as a character in a story going in the Twilight Zone fan fiction listing, just so people can realize how much a major asshole he is. In an e-mail he was going to lift my characters and catalog for stories, and what makes me sick that people are cheering the prick on. He stated he was going to call a publishing company Lake Fossil Press, get your motherfucking shit covered hands off my company.
You would have to sign up at deviantart.com because it is rated mature content — harsh language and ideologically sensitive material. It is dark with the overtones of Christian persecution in the small press. I was checking out other horror stories that are posted on the site to see where I can get the new blood for some planned anthologies I am editing. WritersCafe.org is harder to get writers because it is all teen angst than actual imaginations. I invited John Paul Allen to Deviantart.com to check out Fandom Weirdness. The characters reference A Nightmare On Elm Street and Twilight Zone fandom. I give the writers of those fandoms a lot of credit for capturing the scare from borrowed characters. I watch those fandoms closely because I may never know I could be publishing someone from there.
When I had a blog on greatestjournal.com, I was linking stories from different horror fandoms as well as original stories on fictionpress.com I came across and found interesting. I had the Nightmare On Elm Street Fandom in mind when I wrote The Fandom Writer II and Wandering In Darkness because they have traits of Wes Craven’s New Nightmare. I sometimes find them in the Stephen King fandom or other horror fandoms. I was haunting the site since 2004 to give my original works more exposure, one reader of mine came from this site and noticed me as I was published with The House of Pain. I was exploring the dark world of fandom when I wrote The Fandom Writer, it’s sequel and Fandom Weirdness. Fandom Weirness was rooted in my life dealing with openly gay writers wanting to have me blacklisted from the industry and no longer have opportunities to be published in bigger markets.
It came out of my criticism of W.H. Pugmire while being open about my faith.I was going to ask, “How the hell can you be openly gay and believe in God?” The editor let me have it because he didn’t like someone preaching in a post. One of my anthology alumni pointed out a video of him to me and in my mind I said, “Who is this Boy George look-a-like? He’s a fucking weirdo.” Well I was researching how he emerged to the scene, the fanzine movement so I decided to set Fandom Weirdness in the real person fandom namely the horror take on the fandom. I encourage the editor of Lovecraft E-Zine to come over to deviantart.com to see my recent horror offering. It has references to H.P. Lovecraft and Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark (this is my earliest influence.)
My following in Chicago is the metal scene. They started to check my work out after hosting the show I did with Neutral Red in 2008. I was a fixture in both the Goth and Metal scenes since 1996. I used to go to industrial shows at The Metro when I was 19 years old, I sometimes wrote with Dark Alternative characters. The stories that really had these characters are Spectral Exile, Ghosts In The Tornado, Lake Fossil 3, Flying Cigars, and GAME OVER. I was checking out a collection by a publisher called Creeping Death, the guy has some serious chops in horror. I wish I was able to submit to his publishing company but the roster had too much drama and would had pressured him to drop me.
The metalheads at Gothicfest 2005 were wanting to take their picture with me because they were amazed that one of their own is a publisher. My contributors over the years expressed their love for heavy metal music, but one who submitted liked Lady CaCa. He was out of place being all of us were beer and hard whiskey drinkers, dressed in black and listed to underground heavy metal. I was listening to a friend’s heavy metal band when I was writing When Angels Wept Blood. One of my friends, Mykil of Withering Soul gave me my nickname in the metal scene “The Heavy Metal Author” — I live up to this nickname in Tabloid Purposes IV, GAME OVER, When Angels Wept Blood and The Midnight Diner. The latter story I have the main character listening to the underground metal classic, Trouble’s Psalm 9.
I write my reviews of these CDs on Vampirefreaks.com and sometimes give the back story of the band if I really know them. Neutral Red and I go back to 1998 when I was first living in Iowa. When I returned to Illinois, I made a long standing promise to them that I made true on in 2008. When I got published I would get them a show in Chicago. That show they played was the first time I stepped into the ring as a heavy metal promoter — it is a part time thing for me and will host a show if I am not too busy as a writer.
I’ve submitted Gruesome Cargo II to Pantheon Magazine via submittable.com. Let’s see if they can handle the self-cannibalism in that story. That one is going to be a bitch to place, and I am working on the testimony book right now — it is about 26,000 words. I am going to approach Rexorcist to illustrate Confessional. I am going to release the book myself through lulu.com and writing some bonus stories for the book. This book is highly controversial being critical of gay writers and going into detail being dragged to Boystown in 1996. My first time seeing gay people was when I was 16 years old. Then my mother and I had a conversation about gays when we were watching Ricki Lake in 1992 when they had a flaming faggot on the show. My views on gays go back as far as 16 years old.
“I would rather kill myself than live as a faggot,” I said at 16.
In the 1990s and in high school faggot was thrown around all the time. I am working on my second novel and trying to come up with a story that I would write in the character of A.J. Poe. The son character was reading one of his stories on an E-zine. I am on the second chapter of that book. The story as A.J. Poe is going to be dark and controversial too. I am going to see if I can publish it with booklocker.com, but the thing is trying to find an artist for a novel because I can’t paint worth a fuck. I am working on a story as N.A. Pacione which is a dark autobiographical sketch about being in the mental health wing at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Joliet back in 2008. for the firs time I am working on more than one manuscript. But the thing is trying to find magazines that would accept highly controversial material. I am writing stories featuring Ex-Gays and persecution of Born Again Christians in the small press.
I would be way too controversial for some publishers — I would be too controversial for Naked Snake Press. I am getting braver with the subject matter — one of my readers on twitter said, “A true horror writer will write about self-cannibalism.” I got turned down from Nightmare Magazine for this one, perhaps it was too much for them. It is the first time I wrote a story as twisted as some of Nicholas Tillemans’ catalog and just as surreal because I make reference to Marquis De Sade and perversion. It is my darkest and most frightening story I’ve written in short stories. I am planning to write a work of fiction as UncleFossil which is horror. The one as N.A. Pacione is title The Ward. I am looking to release the highly controversial material on smashwords.com. Some of the characters are based on the gothic.net assholes.
Where did Cox get her original information about me? Well there a back story with the information, she got it from a wiki that these bastards would run. Fandom Wank were a group I zeroed in on when I wrote my memoir in 2007 where I made an example out of Brucha Myers a fan fiction writer of comic book fandom. None of them can come up with an original short story for the life of them. They tried to find fan fiction fandom in my original works, They picked up my diary-x journal and when I got accepted for Naked Snake Press in 2006 they created the fucking page about me. They were up there with Encyclopedia Dramatica. One of the gothic.net cronies created the page about me after my swipes at his favorite writer and urinating on Darren McKeeman’s photograph.
Them and the jagoffs at Stupid Free made my life a living hell, DJ Pathogen was the cause of the headaches locally. I had some fun with him with Media Darling. Fandom Wank violated my copyrights by lifting paragraphs from INSECT and The Fandom Writer. The two most picked on stories of my catalog. Encyclopedia Dramatica came up with the insult name for my magazine which pisses me off the worst — they called the magazine The Ethereal Gayzette. Some asshole queried calling the magazine that and I really went off on him. His feelings where so hurt that he came up with the domain lakefossilpress.com. Fandom Weirdness explored their world in dark detail, when I wrote the memoir I was really punishing them picking apart their psychology and they called the book a hate filled diatribe.
The plagiarist behind the stories on blogspot took a ripe shit on my novel but praised the shitty Barbed Wire Kisses, Scott Colbert hates classic horror he was a publisher of alternative horror but his company went to shit in less than a year. They bragged about publishing T.M. Wright. T.M. Wright is an asshole to the small press. I remember when he picked a fight with me on my message board on AuthorsDen.com, I was just starting to get some sales for my short fiction. Colbert and Cox would be right at home on the community journal full of faceless bastards who sit in a circle jerk picking on fandom writers.