christianity, Cthulhu Mythos, Decades of Therapy: The Aftermath, fuck you, H.P. Lovecraft, Heavy Metal: The Literary Heritage, HORROR, Legend Keeper, nickolaus pacione, Publisher Talk, Richard Matheson, Rod Serling, The Twilight Zone, weird fiction, writing life
Look some of you were deeply offended by some of my statements I made; there’s no apologies for Legend Keeper either because I made the statements. I never saw Glendale Heights in the 1970s – the way I seen you longtimers describe it is almost like the movie Pleasantville before the main characters emerged. The way I see Glendale Heights the way I seen it when I wrote The Statue, Mental Graffetti, and Legend Keeper; or even An Eye In Shadows. It came from the perspective of living in the town where they call the creator of The Music Man their golden boy.
When I came there in 1987 and went to G. Stanley Hall in January of 1988; I started to feel like na outsider back then becase I do listen to heavy metal while everyone listend to rap. I am working on a story right now that examines the nature of persona. Glendale Heights well when I lived there; it was the climate for an author like Richard Matheson to get inspiration. Those of you who are based my body of work on a rebuttal that was one paragraph; I really doubt you were in Glendale Heights in the 1990s.
What I wrote with The Cabbie Homicide – that was the second time I returned as I was talking with the cab driver of the events of what Porras had done. You’re idea of Glendale Heights fire department is the only thing they are called for is a cat in the tree. Some of you were pissed off that I unleashed the darker side of Chicagoland within this one – and this time Glendale Heights got the full brunt of it.
“You really caused an uproar,” a resident messaged me.
“Tell me about it, they think it’s damned Mayberry. You and two others had a laugh about me saying it was much like the Twilight Zone,” I replied. I did nothing wrong when I wrote Legend Keeper – just that the liberal attitudes of Cathy Mueller seems to be more evident as she owned this one community. Well there is two groups and the other one think it’s a funnier reception when you see it as this carnival that never left. This new story is now 8.400 words and thinking that I might release this as a chapbook and an idea for a book that will have the dystopia unfold as trying to picture one’s Utopia crumbled before their feet.
“How do you see it?” I am going to ask.
That was what I asked when I wrote Legend Keeper.
Some of you were insulting my intelligence – I really didn’t appreciate what you were doing to my neighborhood. I moved from Glendale Heights in 1998 – middle of the night in January as I argued with my step-father over my ex-fiancee; I wasn’t kicked out when I was 21. I left on my own accord. My family and I didn’t nearly talk for a year; we are closer in 1999 than we were in 1990 or 1991 – but I really don’t appreciate those of you harassing my immediate family via facebook because I wrote or said something controversial.
Who do you think you are?” one of the longtimers said.
Great let the protests begin shall we? I guess they never spent time in a museum or a library – where I lived I was able to go to a museum or library. I spoke with John Sr. the father of the main person of Empyrean Sky saying they believed in what he did – as he went to college to play in Empyrean Sky. If you dropped out of high school – there would be no way in hell you can do an Empyean Sky. This was the first time my mother started to believe in what I did when I brought H. P. Lovecraft into my old high school and my anthology into my boyhood home. I had to tell the librarian I grew up on Rosedale and Prescott in Roselle and lived there from 1976-1987. I think it would been different if I went to Lake Park High School because a lot of the people I knew went to Lake Park High School growing up. My cousin’s best friend is that connection to this area and they have a tattoo parlor so you’re going to see a lot of longhairs hanging out in Roselle because they want ink.
How would you longtimers feel if you had seen people who have ink over 80% of their arms – I think Sherri Parker judged someone who had that and has long hair. Some of you didn’t want to engage in intelligent discussions; well my memories of living there came when I was 18-19 years old and getting into very intelligent discussions in the Carol Stream Denny’s. The IHOP didn’t have unlimited coffee so I couldn’t sit there all night and scrawl in my composition books – well what you see with the blogs is fairly close to what you seen in my journals except it’s a little more in depth. When I asked some of the locals what I say is off-record to please keep it off-the-record; some of you don’t understand journalist lingo. Schamburg produced a horror author – the lead author in my namesake as I ushered him into Chicago wth his novel he started in 1988.
My guess some of you when you’re 40 years old will be caught reading The Toad and The Frog Together in public – I was 18 and discovered Ira Levin; I did read Rosemary’s Baby. My step-father was asking me if I was getting into the occult when I was reading this. The book I related more to of Ira Levin is The Stepford Wives because I’ve seen some aspects of this in Glendale Heights when I lived there and thought about it like such more.
Some of you still see it as Mayberry; or seen it still like it wa 1978 – I didn’t see it as 1988 when I returned to the area in 2002 and again in 2005. My old house is not crimson as it was from the 1990s but it was painted a 1950s tan. You ask me who do you think I am; sit down and read Tabloid Purposes or The Ethereal Gazette then ask that question – I think that will answer your question.
I am the man behind Lake Fossil Press– the creator of Tabloid Purposes; as this new story is going to tie Tabloid Purposes IV to the namesakes. I will write horror stories that will piss you off; if you are pissed off by something I said for many years. I had burned my thoughts in your collective psyches. You didn’t produce The Music Man – you produced the man who created Tabloid Purposes and Lake Fossil Press; and I will not let anyone shove a new ownership of my company as this is a lie. The fake names on shelfari.com use false information to bully. One of those who did this is an ex-contributor whose story is called A Story of Love which is a piece of shit and he’s even more of one as a human being.
What would rather have in your libraries – a book from a known enemy of mine or one of my own. Your adoptive black-haired son who is born on the same day as James Hetfield. You really don’t want me turning on you because that is something I will do if you showed up in Glendale Heights with Thrall or For Emmy. I would rather see Rockaway Public Library carry Nickolaus Albert Pacione Delivers: A Library Of Unknown Horrors because I want Mary Sangiovanni looking at my face every day because what she wrote about Thrall. Legend Keeper is an answer book to this. So think about this when you would stifle something as this; what have you all done for your community if you did anything at all.
Burn a publisher once – you will get shoved around, libel the hell out of them on public levels and saying the books that inspired an anthology are the authors you hated. That’s flat out libel – and in my eyes I treat Marc Lyth like a plagiarist at this point. He might as well put his byline on my work with that one. I challenge Marc Lyth to come to Chicago and act like that – I have no problem pounding on him and leaving him in the worst neighborhood to finish him off. This is about honor in my case – what he said of me, it not about book sales anymore there. This became personal.
So Lyth – I want you to come to my hometown and say what you said of me saying I am trapped in Naria; I was never a homosexual but looking at your pictures. I guessing you sucked off Oscar Wilde; saying what I represent is “homophobic” what is your world like you fucking Liberal. Lyth – kicking your ass I have no problem doing so on video and wishing I had a printer and a paper shredder because that’s what I should had done to A Story Of Love. I have no problem challenging you to a fight and giving you a funeral that’s the size of my fist.
Don’t fuck with me – am guessing you’re encouring plagiarism of my work you child molesting fuck. I am having to deal with the industry and with the longtimers of my hometown and one of them lives in my boyhood home; so I am going e-mail a cousin who still lives there and I will send them Tabloid Purposes IV. I am going to look for where Cathy Mueller works – and I am encouraging this cousin to walk in with Tabloid Purposes IV and reading it.
This is a little payback and showing Cathy that the world has changed it’s not Glendale Heights in 1978 and you can get books via print online and delivered to your house. Rural America can get the underground horror now if they know where to find it – they need to look outside of those whitewashed lights of the chain stores and K-Mart. I will bring you into the places the mainstream don’t want to come – that’s my home in the underground. I represent the underground and my world of seeing things as a writer is that of someone who is true to the underground; that’s the youth culture in the 1990s – the underground where you saw the Goth and the headbanger. Chicagoland these two overlap often; though Scary Lady Sarah and I had the falling out years ago — that shouldn’t have happened. But I do invite her to check out my namesake anthologies.
“ Talk to a scenester that cares,” Carrie Gough said to me in a facebook message.
I had got mad via LiveJournal.com and caused controversy on Chicago Gothic in 2003 when I had said “Fuck France,” when the first Iraq War unfolded. Lyth if you read Dirty Black Winter –I speak of my trip to Baltimore; and when I wrote An Eye In Shadows I spoke of England. I had spent two weeks in London, England. But I am guessing with some classmates they never read anything where the demographic is 18-34 – that’s my normal demograhic. I am on a mission to get my namesake in the hands of Hampton Public Library in Iowa and in Rockaway, New Jersey as they are both hick towns – I never grew up in a hck town and when I get called a hick I get deeply offended. I grew up in an area where I could see a movie the next town over just by hopping on a mountain bike.
Glendale Heights and Bloomingdale would be areas I spent the most time in – Bloomingdale when I was 16-19 years old because I saw Singles in Cineplex Odeon (they changed their name: they are featured in this website) in Bloomingdale, Illinois. The one that really had me thinking about waiting to do horror more was Dr. Giggles — the first horror film I seen on a large screen (as my story Passenger was set in this era. Dr. Giggles has a fucking castration in there.) I wish I saw Pleasantville here because I think if someone from this area seen a movie like this after living in Mason City, Iowa, you do have a perspective on things. A little darker in some ways – but perspective more or less. So think about it like this when you approach a story like what I wrote with Legend Keeper.
“ Nickolaus A. Pacione, kindly stop posting,” Cathy Mueller responded.
“Do you test the products in the pharmacy when you work at CVS?” I almost said on the group.
I can’t imagine what she would say if I said something like that. But I do invite some of the longtimers to come on video and comment on this blog – who knows the best response will be featured on this blog.
That’s what happens when you pull my short name with a “y” at the end – she made this public; I am the media in this sense as I have a blog. I am sure she would go around wanting to protest my projects coming to there – DuPage County has this dark history to it; come on you have a haunted seminary in the back yard, a Christian College next door and The Theosophical Society right up the street. When you have this climate – Gothic Horror will happen and it will be written; look at who lives in Naperville – John Everson. You guys who are from the 1970s didn’t think I was existing yet. The realization that dytopia was coming was when I arrived to town. DuPage County produced three very dark authors –- it’s a debate who writes the darkest because some of us are on different levels of dark subject matter.
This isn’t Pleasantville or Mayberry kids – so you childhood memories are more like Mayberry living there; you didn’t really see the weird shit as I did. When I took my 21 speed out at 10 PM and rode around until midnight then hung out in Denny’s to scribble in my composition book. What you see with Dirty Black Winter – I wrote about this era with one of the stories. What is your perception; what is your perspective – how do you see things? And comments will be made available on my facebook public page if you want to speak about this one as I will moderate things if you find it too offensive. I will allow comments to be open on the google plus account as I have a litlte over a 100 followers on there and I got 300 plus on twitter.
I really doubt some of you have the heart to tell a kid to give up because I think Cathy Mueller would been one of those people who told me to “give up.” When I was 18 years old – if you listened to that advice that damnation you have is working at a place at 39 years old asking, “Would you like fries with that?” I went to school who is that age and is doing that – what has she done in 20 years? She didn’t even graduate high school and she’s a townee in the wasteland.
Some of you take 1 Thesolonians 5:7 too literally as in you went to bed at seven at night when the world around you is still awake and seeing things. When you traveled to New Orleans, England and Canada; and your buddy you knew since 2005 is now living up there – as he grew up in the area too. You are e-mailing Brian Keene and telling him my dirt – not cool whoever is doing it and if you were trolling me on there lurking at my posts; you’re invading my privacy. Look if you want Legend Keeper – wanting to buy this one; it’s made direct access and I have it linked from my pinterest.
The ones who complained about Legend Keeper are mainly the townees who never read a Richard Matheson story. Glendale Heights – I think if Richard Matheson lived there; it would give a very potent novel a lot of venom. Where I lived where I read A Stir Of Echoes – it contributed to writing Ghosts in the Tornado. The final story of my twenties then Apt. #2W and Spectral Exile were just I turned 30 the latter of the two I finished on my birthday. Legend Keeper is setting the tone for my style as a writer nearing my fourties.
I brought the KMIT anchorwoman kidnapping back with me to Illinois; none of you know about that one brought that back with me when I came to Illinois. GlendaleHeights – would been one of Richard Matheson’s ideal climates for his brand of horror. It wouldn’t seem right for me to use a fictional town or neighborhood; I would leave that to Kevin Lucia, H. P. Lovecaft or Stephen King. Richard Matheson was the father of dark realitic horror – his horror is quite realistic.
And when you have H. P. Lovecraft’s influence on your writing style; then combine this with Richard Matheson.
You going to see something rather nasty born out of this – those two elements plus the Stephen King aspects; as Halloween on Camera is set in a small town South Barrington, Illinois. But the story is wide spanning in the broadscape as it spanned across counties to tell this one. Legend Keeper was also that large scale story too. This story I am working on is the size of Greetings From The Afterlife – someone bitched to Smashwords.com because I wrote two defamitory stories. I am going to contest this as the owner is going to hear from me via a phone coversation to have my accounts reinstated.
They think plagiarism is a joke when it happens to me and they’d leak stories that aren’t published yet. Am I leaking their work I bought on Smashwords? So Mueller now I brought this argument public – I am encouraging you to try to respond to this without swearing or acting like a shallow townee. You townees talk about the area like it’s still 1978-1979 – did you walk the same five blocks all your life?
I am just an average joe who got his influence in his old high school – and got in a museum library by sheer chance. I didn’t bill the museum gift shop when I asked about the book in the gift shop, I sent book first and they cut an offical check. That $16.00 is the one I will remember for years – I just changed them $. 10 for shipping.
“ I know everything about you,” claims this troll.
Really you don’t know anything about me – as I sold to magazines so I am more than an author who is self-published; I had sold work. Not a lot of money for sales – but I sold. What would you aging townees do if you found my anthologies in Glenside Public Library and you kids came home with the book? It’s not like they are doing drugs or getting involved with a gang –they’re reading an anthology of short stories with different personalities.
I felt like I was putting up with the asshole in college with the pastel blue sweatpants and the female canvas slip-ons who said I wrote “horrible” stories. I almost called him an aging faggot. All well and good in my old neighborhood but sometimes you ignored the disturbing shit. Some of you were drawn to all things disturbing and I had cut out differnet articles about church burnings along with other dark articles. What if Christians were uncensored – and that is disturbing when they turn off their filter. I have no filter. Those of you who are trying to do the damned sermons with a recorded voice – I am going to say “Fuck you!” If your idea of written thoughts is King James English; come on this is the modern era.
I’m not speaking evil –but when I wrote Legend Keeper; I was illustrate certain aspects of my hometown that were the ugliness of it – I think Pleasantville saw this aspect too. When you read a story like Legend Keeper — and throw Blackhole Sun by Soundgarden in there; I don’t know what would be creepier when you think about it like that. I am setting the tone for a 1990s to emerge as in 1988-1989 my attitude was more 1992-1994 when you were giving the finger and telling someone to go fuck themselves. If you who call yourselves DemoKKKrats; havent’s seen what The Tea Party shown on their Google+ — this mirrors my story Legend Keeper. Legend Keeper became a lot fucking creepier when looking at these — what I wrote was bigger than Glendale Heights. It’s bigger than me; those 87 pages might be something that will turn some heads for many years — they’re going to talk about this one into my 60s. I wonder what people thought of The Creeping Terror when Richard Matheson first wrote that one. I think the problems with mainstream Christianity is they really don’t like being thought provoking — and Legend Keeper is one of my most thought provoking stories I’ve ever written. So the people of Glendale Heights — if you think what I did was so bad and pissed you off; what I did is a matter of perspectives the question being how does God see you ?